Internal Grace

This past weekend, God for People Who Hate Church Conference took place. It was quite successful and insightful. However, something happened on Saturday morning which for the most part was extremely shameful and put a small sour note to start the conference. Even though I offered a public apology and I asked and was given forgiveness. I felt my heart break in two, as well as sorrow for extremly disappointing those who love me from the Church.

Many individuals have been extremely concerned telling me: Do not beat yourself? Let it go if not the Devil continues to mess with you. We love you and realize life is messy.

Here is the problem even though through the death and resurrection of our Lord we are accepted the way we are and grace allows us to redeem ourselves, how do I forgive myself and allow grace to enter my heart. How do I create or allow INTERNAL GRACE to set in. Nothing I have done to attempt to make amends gives me the atonement and comfort I seek.

I guess only time will heal my wounds. I write this posting not for answers, but to seek insight into Christ's workings. I try every day to walk down that path of righteousness and even though I stumble, I get up. Sometimes I guess it seems its not enough.

Again I say, I am confess to you all bloggers that I have sinned through my own heart, my thoughts, my words, what I have done and what I have failed to do. I ask for forgiveness and grace to continue to fight the battle for the Kingdom. Amen

New Version of Footprints

This new version of the "footprints" story really caught me off guard at the end...What a blessing.

FOOTPRINTS...A New Version

Imagine you and the Lord Jesus are walking down the road together. For much of the way, the Lord's footprints go along steadily, consistently, rarely varying the pace. But your footprints are a disorganized stream of zigzags, starts, stops, turnarounds, circles, departures, and returns. For much of the way, it seems to go like this, but gradually your footprints come more in line with the Lord's, soon paralleling, His consistently. You and Jesus are walking as true friends! This seems perfect, but then an interesting thing happens: Your footprints that once etched the sand next to Jesus' are now walking precisely in His steps. Inside His larger footprints are your smaller ones, you and Jesus are becoming one. This goes on for many miles, but gradually you notice another change. The footprints inside the large footprints seem to grow larger. Eventually they disappear altogether. There is only one set of footprints. They have become one. This goes on for a long time, but suddenly the second set of footprints is back. This time it seems even worse! Zigzags all over the place. Stops. Starts. Gashes in the sand. A variable mess of prints. You are amazed and shocked. Your dream ends.

Now you pray: "Lord, I understand the first scene, with zigzags and fits. I was a new Christian; I was just learning. But You walked on through the storm and helped me learn to walk with You." "That is correct." "And when the smaller footprints were inside of Yours, I was actually learning to walk in Your steps, following You very closely." "Very good.. You have understood everything so far." When the smaller footprints grew and filled in Yours, I suppose that I was becoming like You in every way." "Precisely." "So, Lord, was there a regression or something? The footprints separated, and this time it was worse than at first." There is a pause as the Lord answers, with a smile in His voice. "You didn't know? It was then that we danced!"

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to weep, a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance. (Ecclesiastes 3:1,4).

It's not WHAT you have in your life, but Who you have in your life that counts... Think about that.

I ASKED GOD

I asked for a flower,
He gave me a garden.
I asked for a tree,
He gave me a forest.
I asked for a river
He gave me an ocean.
I asked for a friend,
He gave me "YOU."